Stuffing vs. Letting Go: The Hidden Cost of Suppressed Emotions

Why Letting Go Doesn’t Mean Pretending It Didn’t Hurt

Have you ever been told to “just let it go”? Maybe someone said it in passing, meaning well, but it felt like they skipped over the depth of what you were feeling. Or maybe you’ve said it to yourself as a survival tactic—“Let it go, it’s not worth it,” even though your heart was still aching inside. In the Christian world, we sometimes confuse emotional surrender with emotional suppression. But the truth is, there’s a world of difference between stuffing your emotions and genuinely letting them go.

And if we don’t learn the difference, we risk spiritual stagnation, emotional burnout, and relational distance.

What Does It Mean to Stuff Your Emotions?

Stuffing emotions is what we do when we feel something deeply—anger, sadness, fear, grief, disappointment—and instead of acknowledging it, we push it down.

We tell ourselves:

“I don’t have time for this.”

“It’s not a big deal.”

“I shouldn’t feel this way.”

“Real Christians shouldn’t struggle with this.”

But stuffing is like shoving laundry into a closet—eventually, the door won’t close. You might be able to keep it together for a while, but unresolved emotions leak. They show up in your tone, your reactions, your fatigue, your irritability, or even in how distant you feel from God and others.

When we stuff our emotions, we’re not dealing with them—we’re delaying them. And delay often leads to decay.

What Does Letting Go Actually Mean?

Letting go isn’t about ignoring the pain. It’s about facing it, naming it, feeling it—and then choosing not to carry it anymore. Letting go is active surrender, not passive avoidance. It’s not a spiritual bypass; it’s a spiritual deep dive.

Letting go often sounds like:

• “I was hurt. That mattered. But I don’t want this to control me anymore.”

• “I grieve this loss deeply, but I trust God to heal the places I can’t.”

• “What they did was wrong. But I’m releasing the bitterness for my own healing.”

Jesus never told us to ignore our feelings. In fact, He wept. He got angry. He expressed anguish in the Garden of Gethsemane. He didn’t stuff His emotions—He brought them to the Father.

Letting go happens when we take our emotions and offer them to God instead of hiding them from Him.

The Danger of Confusing the Two

The danger comes when we think we’re “letting it go,” but we’re really just suppressing it.

We stop talking about it, but it still has power over us.

We quote verses like “Cast your cares on Him,” but haven’t actually cast anything—we’re just repeating words like a mantra.

We numb ourselves with distractions, busyness, or even ministry, hoping it will just go away on its own.

Letting go is a process. Stuffing is a reaction.

How to Know if You’re Stuffing Instead of Letting Go

Here are a few signs that you might be stuffing:

• You avoid conversations about certain topics because they’re “too much.”

• You feel numb or disconnected emotionally.

• You cry during worship or prayer and don’t really know why.

• You feel like you’re “fine” until something small triggers a big response.

• You use spiritual language to avoid emotional honesty.

On the other hand, letting go often leaves you feeling lighter, freer, and more open. It might still hurt—but the pain doesn’t feel like a prison. It feels like something you’re walking through, not something you’re trapped in.

A Better Way: Letting Go Like Jesus Did

Jesus shows us the way to truly let go. Not by dismissing pain, but by engaging it with trust. In the garden, He prayed, “If it’s possible, let this cup pass from me…” But then He surrendered: “Yet not my will, but Yours be done.”

That’s what letting go looks like.

It’s not denying the cup. It’s not pretending it’s easy. It’s choosing to surrender the outcome to a Father who can be trusted with your most painful places.

Practical Steps to Let Go (Instead of Stuffing)

1. Name the Emotion

Don’t generalize. Say, “I’m grieving,” or “I feel betrayed.” Clarity brings healing.

2. Write it Out or Talk it Out

Talk to a safe friend, counselor, or spiritual mentor. Or write it in a journal. Expressing it helps you understand it.

3. Bring it to God Honestly

Don’t filter your prayers. God’s not afraid of your honesty. The Psalms are full of raw emotion—so your prayer life can be too.

4. Release the Control

Letting go means accepting that you can’t change the past, control others, or predict outcomes—but you can choose peace.

5. Forgive When Ready

Not to excuse what happened, but to free yourself from the chains of resentment.

6. Repeat as Needed

Letting go often happens more than once. It’s a journey, not a one-time act.

A Final Word of Grace

If you’ve been stuffing your emotions, you’re not alone—and you’re not broken. You’re surviving the only way you know how. But survival isn’t the same as healing. Jesus came to bring life, not just survival.

Letting go doesn’t mean forgetting, pretending, or excusing. It means choosing to trust God more than your need to protect yourself. It’s sacred, brave, and often painful—but it leads to freedom.

So today, ask yourself: Am I stuffing what needs to be surrendered? And if so, take a small step toward letting it go—not alone, but hand-in-hand with the One who knows your heart better than anyone else.